Miss you, Brandy.

Hope everything is going well.

too bad i didnt get mushrooms... mushrooms were supposed to make me quit cigs. but never got them... too bad.

i have my reasons my depression has returned. reasons i do not want to share with u, and it is not my friends quantity that upsets me. i really want less friends...actually, id rather just forget all about my friends and go back to the old days when no one called me, no one came over, and no one knew me.

it would be ironic if everything was made out of iron...

my life revolves around everyone else. they decide whether i do stuff or not... somehow... its so fuckin ridiculous...

i do not have the time to keep a journal. my day consists of waking up, having tons of people phone me, asking to come over. they get over here because i have no excuses for them to not come over when they say "why cant i come over?" so.... they all pile in my basement, they either just sit around and mooch for food, drinks, cigs, and all this other bologna, and then they somehow get money, they waste it all on weed, and just sit in my basement, and smoke until say... 8 o clock, and then my mother kicks them out. by the time they actually leave... cuz my moms method of "kicking out" is yell once or twice and hope they listen. by the time they all leave, im tired as hell from just sitting in my basement the whole day and need to retire.... 

I HATE LIFE.

to be completely honest with u. i wish i would have listened to u in the first place... and im sure if u would have been a better friend to me than kody was, id most likely be happy in this point in time. im not saying its your fault, but if u wouldent have been trying ur hardest to prove ur point by moaning other guys's names... im sure i would have had a bit more trust in your judgement...

my "drugs" consist of herbal stuff... grown from the natural earth. shit like coke, and all that other bullshit is not the direction i am planning to go down. ill only do weed, shrooms, cigs, and alcohol. nothing more intense then that.

im not in complete loss of control of myself, and do not plan on it. i think that what u think im doing is just going out and getting as many drugs as possible to have a good time... when my "good time" would be sitting at home alone, with absolutally nothing to do...

if i had ur life, id be pretty much satiated